You read that right. The “Book Conflict to Resolution” by Susan Heitler, Ph.D., emphasizes the issue of having INDIVIDUAL therapy when marriage issues are part of the reason they go to individual therapy in the first place. Dr. Heitler goes on further to highlight that if each spouse, in a fragile marriage, has their own therapists, it could be a recipe for disaster. While attending individual therapy, the clients grow on their own. They go on separate paths from their partners which can lead to separation.
Individual Therapy May Be Hurting Your Marriage
If a client is having marital issues, when discussing this with their individual therapist, they could be gaining advice to empower themselves. This could cause them to leave such a dreaded relationship. The individual therapist, not trained in relationship recovery, may not have met the spouse. If they haven’t met the spouse they may not have gained an accurate assessment of him/her. If abuse is occurring, of course, it is completely appropriate and highly encouraged to leave the relationship. However, most of the clients I see would not need that recommendation. They should seek out marriage counseling instead of individual therapy.
The Key to Marriage Counseling
The main key is ensuring that the therapist you see is focused on the marriage and repairing your relationship. If you have an individual therapist of your own, tell the therapist that you would like their help focusing on strengthening your marriage as well as yourself. Place a priority on this in treatment or your relationship could suffer. Working on yourself in therapy can be absolutely fantastic, as long as you are not on the path of destroying the marriage unnecessarily while you do.
I encourage your partner to come to at least the first marriage counseling session. If they are not willing to, that’s fine, they can always join later. As a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, I encourage you and your partner to focus on marriage and growth individually simultaneously. If you are not in the state of Florida and have stumbled upon this article, seek a relationship-focused therapist who can help you and your partner with creating a healthy marriage and growing in individual therapy.
Focus On Marriage Counseling For Marital Issues
In conclusion, if you are having marital issues, seek marriage counseling. If that is not possible, seek individual therapy with a therapist who is well-versed in relational issues. Someone to help focus on both you and your relationship. Have them get to know you and your partner and let them know you want to focus on your relationship. This may be a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist or an individual therapist with relational training (Gottman and Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy training are both gold-star training to ask about). Good luck finding your ideal therapist fit and reconnecting with your partner!
Start Marriage Counseling in Loxahatchee, FL
Don’t let your relationship suffer. At the Marriage Couch, we understand how important your relationship is and we want to provide you and your partner the support and guidance needed to create a healthier relationship. To get started follow these three simple steps:
- Contact us to schedule a free 15-minute consultation
- Meet with one of our skilled marriage counselors
- Start healing your relationship and reconnecting with your partner.
Other Services Offered at the Marriage Couch
Your relationship is important and our team at The Marriage Couch understands. We want to help you and your partner work on your connection in a healthier way with as much support and guidance as you need. We offer a 5-day Date Your Spouse Challenge today as a way to test the waters of our therapy style. This 5-day challenge is appropriate for couples of any level, whether you are simply checking in or truly struggling. Check out our Blog and Meet our Team to learn more about us!
