We all go through seasons of life in which not only do we change, but our relationships do as well. Through those changes, it is important to prioritize communication with your partner in order to support not only your and your partner’s individual growth but the growth and evolution of your relationship.
Here are five tips to help you and your partner navigate life’s transitions:
Communicate Emotions through “I” Statements
No matter the life changes, navigating them without strong communication with your partner can prove to be a challenge. Using “I” statements is a good place to start in your journey to better communication. To use an “I” statement, use the phrase “I feel ___”. Fill in the blank space with an emotion you are feeling at that time. If you are able to, elaborate on the emotion and where it is coming from without blame.
Use Reflective Listening
Reflective listening involves intently listening to the information the speaker is providing and reflecting the message back in your own words to confirm if you are understanding what the speaker is trying to communicate. For example, “I was worried when I didn’t hear from you earlier. I thought something had happened to you”. An example of a reply that uses reflective listening would be, “I’m hearing that you were worried when I did not communicate I would be staying at work late. Does that sound right?”. Reflective listening is designed to help the speaker feel heard and validated. When paired with “i” statements, the combination creates an opportunity for connection, understanding, and empathy.
Set SMART Goals Together
SMART stands for specific, measurable, achievable, realistic, and timely. Setting SMART goal is a great way to not only hold you and your partner accountable on achieving your goals, but also increases your likelihood of achieving those goals. A few examples of SMART goals you and your partner could have are anything from having weekly date nights to buying a home. Setting goals can also help manage expectations.
Communicate in Your Partner’s Love Language
If you have been to therapy before, you likely know about the five love languages;
- Words of affirmation
- Quality time
- Acts of service
- Physical touch
- And gifts
Love languages are how we give and receive love. Communicating in your partner’s love language is a way to fill their “love tank”. Sometimes, when our partners have a different love language than us, it can be difficult to recognize when they are showing love their way. For example, if your partner prefers acts of service, your partner may do things for you, like make you coffee in the morning or help you complete a task. However, if you prefer physical touch, those things will likely not fill your “love tank”. What will likely fill your would be holding hands, receiving a hug from your partner, and other things of that nature. Although communicating in your partner’s love language is important, try to be open to identifying when your partner is showing love their way as well. To discover what your love language is, search online for the five love language quiz.
Follow Gottman’s Sound Relationship House
These seven principles are a guide to how to create a meaningful and fulfilling relationship. The seven principles of John Gottman’s method are:
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Enhance your love maps- Knowing the little things about your partner’s world creates a strong foundation for your friendship.
- Nurture your fondness and admiration- Showing appreciation for your partner creates an environment of respect.
- Turn toward each other instead of away- “Turning towards” refers to making your partner feel valued.
- Let your partner influence you (having a relationship where you both influence each other equally allows both partners to feel their views and feelings are respected and valued. 5. Solve your solvable problems- Gottman refers to two types of problems- conflicts that can be resolved and perpetual problems that cannot be. Gottman says that “solvable problems are situational, and there’s no underlying conflict”
- Overcome gridlock- Gridlock can occur when dreams feel unfulfilled or go unrealized. Gottman stresses the importance of partners helping each other realize their dreams.
- Create shared meaning- Find shared meaning with your partner by sharing your goals and appreciating the role you play in each other’s lives.
Start Communication Therapy for Couples in Wellington, FL
Navigating life’s transitions with your partner can be challenging, but you don’t have to do it alone. At The Marriage Couch, we help couples build stronger communication, deepen emotional connection, and create a shared vision for the future. If you and your partner are ready to enhance your relationship through expert-guided strategies, our team is here to support you. Start your therapy journey by following these simple steps:
- Schedule a free 15-minute consultation
- Work with a caring therapist
- Start experiencing life changes with your partner!
Other Services Offered at The Marriage Couch
Couples therapy isn’t the only service offered at The Marriage Couch. Our team is happy to offer a variety of services to support your relationship and mental health. We offer services in Wellington, Palm Beach Gardens, Loxahatchee, and online throughout the state of Florida. Check out our Blog and Meet our Team!