Trust is a fundamental and foundational component of any healthy and successful relationship. In order to trust someone, you must be willing to be vulnerable to getting hurt. The payoff is a deep connection that includes feeling safe and being able to depend on another person.
Once trust has been compromised it is essential to address the betrayal. Betrayals can come in various forms and degrees from white lies to infidelity. Rebuilding trust is not easy but it is possible with the help of couples therapy. Working with a couples therapist at The Marriage Couch can help you and your partner heal and move on.
Steps on Repairing Trust Once Broken
Confront the Misdeed Head-On
When trust has been broken, the first step to repairing the relationship is to confront the misdeed head-on and communicate with your partner. Admit what you have done. Often, before a partner admits to betraying their loved one, their loved one is left feeling confused and like they are going crazy, this is called gaslighting.
Gaslighting is when your partner suspects that something is amiss or has proof of a betrayal, but the lies that are employed to cover up the betrayal result in your partner doubting themselves. If you have betrayed your partner, it is your responsibility to minimize the harm and burden on your loved one. The experience of being gaslit can be just as traumatic as the betrayal itself.
Drop Defenses and Take Accountability
Drop your defenses and take accountability and responsibility for your choices. Refrain from giving reasons for why the betrayal occurred. Justifying, minimizing, rationalizing, or giving reasons as to why the betrayal happened is not helpful at this stage in this process. State the misdeed and own.
Listen to Your Partner
Once you have named the misdeed or admitted to the betrayal, it is important to listen to your partner to understand (not to debate or defend). By listening to your partner to understand, you will be able to empathize with how your actions have affected your partner (often in unintentional ways, yet nevertheless still causing great pain, doubt, relationship conflict, and anger).
Once you have listened to understand, validated your partner’s experience, and empathized with your partner’s feelings. It is important that the partner can feel seen, heard, and understood so they feel less alone in the pain the betrayal has caused them. For an apology to be sincere, the partner who breached the trust must understand the pain that their action has caused in order to own what they are apologizing for.
Apologize
The next step is to apologize and demonstrate consistently through your actions and behaviors that you are making amends.
A big part of rebuilding trust is consistency in demonstrating that you are trustworthy. Being impeccable with your word, and demonstrating that you are reliable, predictable, and dependable are all essential in rebuilding trust.
Create Security The Misdeed Won’t Happen Again
Another aspect of rebuilding trust is having the security and confidence that the misdeed or betrayal will not happen again. With the help of a couples therapist, you can explore the deeper issues that led to the betrayal to create new dynamics.
Trust is essential to any committed relationship. Once trust has been compromised it is hard to get back, but it is possible with the help of a couples therapist.
Interested in Working With a Couples Therapist in Wellington, FL to Rebuild Trust in Your Relationship?
Take the first step towards rebuilding trust and strengthening your relationship by seeking the guidance of one of our skilled couples therapists. By working together with a couples therapist at The Marriage Couch, you’ll gain valuable insights, learn effective communication strategies, and develop the tools needed to heal and restore trust. Invest in your partnership today and embark on a journey of renewal, connection, and a brighter future together. Follow these three simple steps to get started:
- Schedule a free 15-minute consultation
- Begin working with a skilled couples therapist
- Start healing the trust in your relationship in a positive way!
Other Services Offered at the Marriage Couch
At The Marriage Couch, our team wants to help you and your partner create a healthier relationship. Our services include Marriage Counseling and Couples Therapy in Wellington, Palm Beach Gardens, Loxahatchee, West Lake, and online throughout the state of Florida. We also offer a 5-day Date Your Spouse Challenge as a way to test the waters of our therapy style. This 5-day challenge is appropriate for couples of any level, whether you are simply checking in or truly struggling. Check out our Blog to learn more!
