There are many different beliefs about the function of marriage counseling. Unfortunately, many of those beliefs are flawed. Too often, couples come to therapy thinking that the therapist sitting across from them will be the magic bullet to “fix” their marriage. Or that going to counseling will help them prove that they are the “right” partner in their marriage while their spouse is in the wrong.

Couples Therapy Is To Help You Understand Your Partner

In reality, marriage counseling is not meant to “fix” or to prove anything, but rather to explore. Couples’ work gives the opportunity for each partner to hear and be heard by one another. To understand and be understood. Further, the role of the therapist is to facilitate that process rather than dictate it. There are certainly times when the therapist has to jump into the process and model things with and for the couple. But the effort in practicing new skills and connecting on a deeper level comes from the couple themselves.

This type of work has the ability to change lives and relationships, but whether you call it marriage therapy, couples counseling, relationship therapy, or any other derivative, diving into therapy with your spouse has a certain weight and significance attached to it. Some couples start therapy together in preparation for their marriage. While others start it in a last-ditch effort to reinvigorate their marriage. No matter where a couple is in their relationship, the question of when the right time is to start crucial couples work together is a common question.

Therapy Has A Negative Stigma Surrounding It

Unfortunately, the weight of beginning couples’ work often manifests as a negative stigma. Many couples come in feeling a sense of shame or embarrassment that they need someone to help them with their marriage. They may think “Why do we need help when others don’t?” Others may come into therapy with a pessimistic outlook. Thinking “The fact that we need this kind of help means things aren’t going to work out.” The irony of this kind of thinking is that it stops couples who would benefit from exploring their relationship.

From getting help at times when it is easier to use that help and make meaningful progress through therapy. By stigmatizing this work, they end up not getting help, spiraling further into unhappiness or unhealthy, and ultimately terminating their relationship. Just as they feared couples therapy would cause them to do. Some couples will spend months, years, or even decades going back and forth about whether it is the right time to start therapy. This may end up causing more and more harm in their relationship in the meantime.

Couples Therapy is a Gift, Not a Burden

If you are someone who struggles with the stigma of attending couples therapy, my advice is to adjust your thinking around what it means to enter counseling. Rather than thinking “Why do we need help when others don’t?” consider thinking “We get to have help when others don’t.” There are so many couples who do not have the means or access to get the help they need to improve their relationship.

Starting the journey of therapy is a gift, not a burden. It is an opportunity to spend intentional, meaningful time solely focused on the person you love most and how you can best meet their needs and have them meet yours.

It’s Never Too Early To Start Therapy

The long and short of it is this: There is no such thing as too early to start couples therapy, but there can certainly be such a thing as too late. A huge part of why marriage counseling is viewed as ineffective by critics is because many couples wait until there is too much pain, too much damage, and too much resentment for therapy to be effective. Couples wait until years after a betrayal or conflict to rehash it in therapy and by the time they do, they discover that the wounds are too deep, the feelings too strong, and the motivation too low for them to be able to recover.

That being said, any effort put in to help improve your relationship is never wasted. Even if you fear that you and your loved one may fall into the category of couples who waited until it was “too late”, there is always hope if both partners are willing. I truly believe that any couple can make their relationship work as long as both parties are open to forgiveness and compromise, and these are both skills that marriage therapy can help hone.

Marriage counseling can help you and your partner find each other on deeper levels than ever before. Whether you’re preparing for a marriage or piecing one back together. There are so many reasons to pursue a deeper relationship and so few reasons not to. At the end of the day, I’d rather be sitting with my own partner thinking “We didn’t really have to” than be thinking “I wish we had.”

Ready to Start Couples Therapy in Palm Beach Gardens, FL?

If you and your partner are struggling to connect and communicate effectively, couples therapy can provide a safe and supportive space to explore your relationship dynamics. By working with a trained therapist at the Marriage Couch, you can develop a deeper understanding of each other’s needs, desires, and perspectives, and learn new skills to enhance intimacy and trust. Investing in couples therapy can lead to stronger, more fulfilling relationships and a happier, healthier future together. To get started follow these three simple steps:

1. Schedule a free 15-minute consultation
2. Work with a caring couples therapist
3. Begin working on your relationship and see the positive changes!

Other Services Offered at the Marriage Couch

Your relationship is important and our team of skilled and caring therapists at The Marriage Couch understands. We want to help you and your partner work on your connection with as much support and guidance as you need to resolve any relationship issues. Our services include Marriage Counseling and Couples Therapy in Wellington, Palm Beach Gardens, Loxahatchee, and online throughout the state of Florida. We also offer a 5-day Date Your Spouse Challenge as a way to test the waters of our therapy style. This 5-day challenge is appropriate for couples of any level, whether you are simply checking in or truly struggling. Check out our Blog and Meet our Team!