Why Relationships May Have Poor Communication
There are several reasons why people may find themselves in relationships with poor communication patterns. Sometimes in couples therapy, we find one or both partners lack the skills necessary to be a great communicator. For example, communication skills such as being an empathic listener, and using clear and direct statements in a soft way using “I” statements are skills that are necessary to maintain connection and avoid conflict. Some of the common relationship pitfalls that lead to blame and contempt stem from not knowing how to communicate with intention as a precursor and connection as a goal.
Difference in Communication Style
For other couples, there might be a difference in communication styles that lead to misunderstandings and disagreements. For instance, one partner might have a more cerebral and concrete style of relating and communicating. While the other partner might have a more effective and ambiguous style. When partners have different styles of communication it can lead to misperceptions.
Learning to understand and identify your style of communication and your partners can decrease misconceptions. You and your partner don’t need to speak the same relationship language, but you will need to understand your style and your partner’s style in order to communicate effectively and feel heard and understood.
Different Dynamics in Power
In addition to speaking different relationship languages, some partners don’t feel heard because of the dynamics of power in the relationship. When one partner has more power in the relationship they can become controlling in the arena of communication. The person with less power in the partnership can be prevented from using their voice. Thus prevented from being heard.
There may also be emotional blocks that readily interfere with communication. For instance, when one partner is feeling triggered that person’s communication style may be reflective of their affective state at the moment instead of reflective of their relationship and communication goals. For other people, the fear of rejection or vulnerability may create a barrier to open and honest communication.
5 Reasons Why Working With a Couples Therapist at The Marriage Couch Can Help You and Your Partner Improve Communication:
1. Our couples therapists can provide a safe contained space for partners. A space to be able to share their thoughts and feelings free of judgment in a holding environment. So no one feels alone in their struggle.
2. Our couples therapists can help partners explore their relationship and communication styles. This helps identify and disrupt negative interaction patterns. It’s based on Sue Johnson’s evidence-based research and interventions. Partners will gain awareness and insight into the cycles they go through and learn to reconceptualize the meaning behind some of their emotional triggers that lead to habitual arguments resulting in one partner feeling shut down and the other angry or frustrated.
3. Partners will have the opportunity to learn communication skills based on Gottman’s evidence-based methods. Created to decrease criticism, blame, withdrawing, and shutting down to increase collaborative styles of problem-solving. Healthy communication tools increase engagement and problem-solving effectiveness in a manner that promotes connection and minimizes physiological stress.
4. Partners will learn how to become more empathic listeners and better able to hear their partner. As well as allow their partner to feel heard so that immediate, short-term, and long-term relationship goals can be pursued collaboratively and optimally.
5. Partners will learn how to use communication in mindful ways to increase understanding and connection to be able to achieve relationship goals.
Ready to Start Couples Therapy in Loxahatchee, FL?
If you’re feeling like your communication as a couple could use some work, don’t wait any longer to take action. Seeking out couples therapy at The Marriage Couch can be an incredibly valuable investment in your relationship and your future together. With guidance from one of our trained therapists, you can begin to develop new communication skills and strengthen your connection as a couple. To get started follow these simple steps:
- Schedule a free 15-minute consultation
- Work with a skilled couples therapist
- Begin seeing positive changes in your communication with your partner!
Other Services Offered at the Marriage Couch
Your relationship is important and our team of skilled and caring therapists at The Marriage Couch want to help you and your partner. Our services include Marriage Counseling and Couples Therapy in Wellington, Palm Beach Gardens, Loxahatchee, and online throughout the state of Florida. We also offer a 5-day Date Your Spouse Challenge as a way to test the waters of our therapy style. This 5-day challenge is appropriate for couples of any level, whether you are simply checking in or truly struggling. Check out our Blog and Meet our Team!
